Liu Xing

Wednesday is a FUN day! BB and I always have something to do.

We normally Carnegies; its ladies nite!! (Lotsa free flow Champaign with fresh strawberries!!), sometimes we Mumbo Jumbo at Zouk all night long but most of the time, we pasar at Taman Connaught.

Tonight, we pasar-ed. Till is all our terms lar… Pasar stand for pasar malam, or in decent English, night market. Night market is a trend in Asia. It’s a Chinatown format. You can get lotsa cheap yummy fingers licking good food! It’s a great place to go. There’s people walking around buying and eating food, great place for pirated VCD’s and DVD’s… You can even get software. Stuffed cutie toys are the young chick’s favourite, hand phone cover and accessories are another.

For BB and me, our favourite would be first of all, we get out “Uncle Fried Chicken Breast!” Low fat, lean fried chicken with pepper and chilli powder! Yummy!! Then we will go for the famous “Penang Laksa”. BB would normally have a big bowl of it with extra fish! Ada umph! Not forgetting the “Mat Tou Yau” tong sui! Hhhmmm…

All this followed by more desserts and drinks while we are walking along! We also had Taiwan Sausage, Red Bean with Coconut Milk self made ice cream (I start having this since I was 3 years old!!! It’s nice!) And BB even had Curry Fish ball! Hahaha… I never like fish ball, so I normally give it a pass.

After all the YUMMY food, we adjourn to McDonalds for the Sundae Cone! As usual, I had a large Mc Twist whilst BB and the small one with chocolate top!

I wished I can have another, but then again… Yucks… Too much of good stuff!

After all the sins… BB sends me back with a kiss on me lips! Hehehe… Me best dessert! Yeah!!!

Kiss BB back!

Hhhmmm... Wondering what are we going to do next Wednesday?

Forgotten Additional Note; VERY BLARDY IMPORTANT
Today BB wore something he personally called "British Spring Style" I dunno how he figured that out man...
And you might wanna figure that out yourself! Kekeke... He looked Cool! Bytheway, me BB is 6' 4" tall. So he looked stylo, but frankly, he looked stylo not really because of his height, but its actually because he have me as his biggest piece of accessories! I mean REAL BIG! Hahaha... Miss ya edi BB!

It has been a week since I last blog.

Wow! I’m getting lazier by days.
I seriously gotta do something about this. I can't go on this way!

Let's see how last week... let's start it with Monday! BB picked me up and we went for steamboat dinner at our favourite Yulek Steamboat Restaurant. I love steaming-boat there! They have my favourite 'zhui wo'. Its clear soup with seaweed and a little 'wong chou'. Super nice when it’s raining; cold! The soup is super hot! It leaves a warming after effect! Cool man!

Later we went Little Genting for a drink and lotsa kuaci!
We walk walk talk talk while looking at the night scenery of Kuala Lumpur...
Very the lam!

Hhhmmm... Tuesday.
BB picked me up again; we have a little notti plan today! Hahaha...
We went for dinner at Restaurant near Cheras Mas to have our Fukkein Chau Min and Kong Fu Chau Yee Min and we went off to Mc Donald’s for more ice-cream!!!
A Large Mc Twist for me and another Small Mc Twist with Choc Dip for BB! Ahhh... Mc Donald’s Ice cream! It’s my daily treat! It's BB's second ice cream today! No wonder he is piling on FATSSSS! Hahahaha... Same ere!

Then guess what? BB orders another LARGE set of Mc Nugget Value Meal! We went eat eat eat, munch munch munch...

After all the munching we went right to Giant, to do a little shopping!

Buy Buy... Sayang Sayang... Hehehe...

I tried to get as much TLC as I can from BB! Wakakaka...
Nice! We left Giant at about 2300 den drive back to BB’s and we hang out more!

Hang in his place for 3. Then went working with him in da morning!

TBC...

bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie bouncie

i.e., fleshes bounce bounce. Delores is very the yuk tantan.

OK. Fuck, I know I'm fucking yuk tantan...
So what?

At least I look cute bouncing around town...
Rather then look like one of those bulimic anorectics skeletal boney chick who doesn’t have tits.

Oh shit... 1/3 of KL chicks will kill me man!!!
Half of them fake their tits with super duper wonder bra filled with 'liquid' for the extra bouncy effect.

IF YOU DO NOT have TITS, den DON'T fucking FAKE it lar!
There is nothing worst then faking it den when you take it off, it’s as flat as my SONY FLAT screen man!!
Ok ok... It's not that flat lar.. You might have 2 pinkie pop corns on flat da screen...

Haha... Frankly, I don’t know what's wrong with me. I'm definitely not oke!!!

Because fuck, chick with big boobs have stupid fucking problems too.
They'll ssaaaaggggggggg!!!!! So which one is good?

WTF? I was thinking, if my boob’s sagg, I'll slice it off. Hahhaa... F

ucking shit, I just did my monthly pencil test, I did not fail man!!!
Haven’t sag yet lah! Yeahhhhh!!! Ok, back to yuktantan.

I get this yuk tantan thingy from BB's god sister. She never likes me, from the first sight.

No girl does oke? Not many girls admire my ability to bounce around still looking elegant! I rock! Hahhaa...

I turn heads... Big head, small head, black heads, dickheads, white heads... Even when I'm 58.5kg...

Kekekkee. Fuck, now I know why girls hate me so much...
I suddenly fucking beh tahan myself... Perasan man.

What to do, this is the best a chick 5' 3" weighing 128lbs does to boost her confidence man!!!
I need a lot of boost!!!! Bbbstttt BBsssttt... Ter-ba-bom!!

NEW TARGET 108lbs. What the fuck? 20 lbs?
Fuck shit lar... That's too fucking much...

I know 12lbs isn’t anything because I damn good at retaining water man...
But the other 8lbs is pure fatttssss!!

OK lah, got boobs rulezz, no boobs also rulezz…
Look at the bright sides of it, at least you have nipples!

One good pair of it. What colour? Doesn’t matter, colourful is beautiful…

As long as your pair of nipples is same in colour.
No one pink, one black.

Fucking yinyong. Hhahaha...

Fuckin freaking bouncing off now. Off.

I gotta fit into my sexy top on my birthday party with a new pair of jeans!
and I need to look good innit!!

Ready to party Baybehh!!!
and we are partying looking good!!!

I wonder...

58kg today... I can't make it past 60kg or else I'll start shouting at every single soul that look at me more then 2 second!!!

Can I be 53kg by my birthday?
I have this really nice top that I've been dying to put on, but its too small!!!
I've gained 5 kilos since Chinese New Year.

I have over 6 weeks before my big day is here! :)
DIET!!! EXERCISE!!! No more supper with BB!!!
BB is getting cubby too!

Im chubby, bubbly... I wish I can be slimmer, then I can be bubbly-er!!
My perfect weight is 49kg for my height, but thats almost 9 kilos! Nah...

That's so unrealistic!!!
But BB say I will look perfect if Im 49kg.

Ya I know...
But no one is perfect...
Besides, BB likes 'bak-bak'!!

Nicer to hug!
Don't wanna be tit-less chick, man...

I know I drop a cup size when ever I loose weight!
Arrggg...

Wish I can keep the cup and still loose the fats! Hahhaa...
Hhhmmm...

I promise everyone that read my blog, that Im going to loose enough weight to fit into that sexy top with a pair of sexy Levi's Jeans and I will wear that on my birthday party night! :) Ok I gotta sleep, else BB is goin to be MAD.

Kiss ya BB. Miss you...

HITCH; To marry: i.e., They got hitched last month.

It is a wonderful movie featuring Will Smith, an actor who never fail deliver strong meaningful message with his own style.

A good movie because it mean so much to me...
As I sit in the car, BB was driving me back, something keep hitting me, part of it shouts how important it is to be yourself in a relationship. It doesn't really matter if you have a big ass, well it does matter sometimes... But having a big ass is you! It's your ass, so big ass is you.

Anyway, what really matter is, what 'cookin'...
How it feels...
The feeling you get when "that" someone is there...
Worst, not there...?

The butterfly in my stomach,
The weird feeling that keep hitting me back, amaze me - big time.

Despite having "that" someone around, I just can't help feeling "unbelievable"...
I can't believe how his big strong hand is holding mine...
I can't believe how "unbelievable" it is to have him snoring away so loudly beside me...

It's like a dream come true...
I never wanna wake up...
Wish I can dream having him rest of my life...
So much dreamin, deep inside, I know I have to wake up one fine day...

Truth is, love is spontaneous, you can't rehearse love...
You don't rehearse your feeling because when you do, it's not about love anymore...
It's about what hits you right there, that particular moment...

No wonder things never work as I planned... There is so many times I planned to do this and that with BB, but it never work out... It just never, I can't seem to think properly, with or without him around. I just can't... and I know he hates it. He asked me once "What can you ever remember?" I answered to myself, YOU. But the answer never made it to him...

It does now...

He hit me when I first met him, right there, when he offered to hold my bag... No I don't mean he hit me physically. I mean he sweep me off... With a god damn good broom, really... Hehee... Or perhaps, he suck me off... Eerrr... I mean, with a good vacumm cleaner... Suck me off my feet. He does... REALLY.

He hit me right there again when he says he cares for me... with tears falling from his eyes...
What I really wanna say here is...

He did something that others did not, and that's the impact he made in my life...
He loves me so much... I can't remember when was the last guy ever love me so much...
Other then my dad of cause...

Despite being "loved", I realize, I'm trying to run away...
Maybe because I don't wanna hurt him anymore,
but I wish he know it hurts just to think of leaving him.

I don't know why Baby... But I hope you remember I have a special condition.
I can't think straight.
I'm getting help with that remember??

I wish he know how important he is to me...
How I always want the best for him, just like how he wanna me to have the best from him.

I wish he realize how I feel for him...
I wish he feel more secured, being with me.
I wish he could stop being worried bout me falling for another guy because all I can think of every moment, no one else but HIM.

Sweet dreams Baby...
I'll hug you tight tomorrow.

I'm going to be 25 in another 7 weeks. It's coming soon! I'm so afraid!!!
Why, you might ask. Every year without fail, I evaluate myself on my birthday.

How much I've achieved?

Where I am now?

Who am I today?

What will I do tomorrow, or days to come?

Then tears will sheds... I've not being able to smile looking at my achievements, never, and I don't think I will be able to do too, this year. Apart from knowing how much people around me loves me, which is the most wonderful thing in the world.

I view the importance of being one of the high achievers as a very very important thing for me, I was the Vice president of a Leo Club, managing over 100 members, meeting over 30 different clubs every other week... Dealing with events involving thousands of high spirit youth. Challenges as I like. I wonder why I don't miss em anymore.

The year I was awarded with a TOP LEO MEMBER AWARD 2000/01, equivalent with a LEO OF THE YEAR AWARD 2000/01. It was one of my unforgettable moment, standing up among thousand of other youth. I received a big round of applause having to serve my community, club and country with outstanding achievements.

To add to all the happiness, my president was awarded the TOP PRESIDENT AWARD 2000/01 and our leo club, the LEO CLUB OF CYBER AMITY was awarded as the CLUB OF THE YEAR 2000/01!

Amazing!! Simply amazing!!!

After a lot of cheering, applause, ra ra sessions and phone calls and shouting and exciments, we went up to our room, and we fell asleep!

It was a very tiring year indeed... Alot of work. It was a full time commitment. So much work, so little time... I went on with my responsibility as the CLUB PRESIDENT 2001/02. I was installed as the president of my club a week before I started working with Tyco International...

Life turned harder, having to cope my responsibily as a President of a club and an employee of a MNC proved harder then I expected. Meetings after work is normal, sleepless weekend is even more normal, later, I start having sleep over in the office to cope with my work as well...

My relationship with my boyfriend fell apart after one month I start committing myself to my new life. He found someone better, someone who are committed to him instead to her job and a club. Which is good for him. Im sure!

Having to commit myself to two full time job is just so hard... and I manage to go thru all of it as well! Having being promoted every 6-8 months, I end up being a Marketing Communications Executive, but I end all my glory as a human last year, in November 2004, after failing to cope with
all the nonsense.

November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 Febuary 2005 March 2005

5 months after I stop living, as a normal human being... I'm struggling to live again.
I'm gathering my energy, I wanna stand up tall and make all the difference I can, to help everyone, to gain back their confidence and continue living in the world as a better person, and most importantly, being proud of it too.

I might not going to smile looking back at my recent achievement on my birthday but I know I'm going to have a good luff at it next year!

I did a little research about myself, and I would like to share with all of you about my findings...
Enjoy! :)


How to Spot Liu Xing

1) High energy; I jumpie jumpie, I luffie lufie... Hahaa.. I'm full time irritater!

2) Friendly; I talk to a lot of people! I can talk about different different things too! I love talking!

3) Good natured; errrrr kekeke... I rahter not comment!

4) Imaginative; Oh yeah... Hhmm...

5) Fun loving; Dave can prove this! I like fun! No fun, no life!

6) Off beat; Ya... sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes no beat...

7) Curious; Always and forever, I like to experiment with new stuff I see, its fun!

8) Discussions shift quickly from one topic to another; Yeah man, I don't talk about the same thing for too long!

9) Warm; I'm a warm person, put I can also be quiet cold blooded!

10) Concerned, and eager to help solve problems; I liek to help, my defination of help ya!


Tips for Communicating with Liu Xing

1) Focus on interesting and innovative possibilities and new ways of solving problems. There are so many possibilities! Why keep using the same way to solve probs? Same thing is BORING!

2) Don't overwhelm them with facts and details; No details man, u are wasting my time with details!

3) Keep things relaxed, warm and flexible; Just sit back and chill, dude... No preplan activities for me, no schedules!!!


How to Love Liu Xing

Appreciate my creativity, curiosity, and uniqueness.
I'm DIFFERENT. I dress differently, I behave differently. I angry with differently. I'm one and only in the earth. U cannot find anyone as horrible as me. No No No...

Tell me how much I mean to you and be patient with my need to process how I feel privately before sharing it with you.
Tell me often enuff, bcoz sometimes I forget you told me edi!! Just keep telling me, but don't sit down there and tell me lah... Do something to prove it too! :P

Re-establish harmony quickly.
Peace.

Support my need to try new experiences and maintain my many friendships. Be creative. Different move, positions, words, tactics and style interest me.

Try not force decisions too quickly, or bug me about being messy.
I like being messy!!! Messy is good, it's a form of art. abstract.

Above all - encourage me to keep growing, changing, and experimenting with life because life is wonderful as a breath of fresh air!

I need to sleep now. Ciao.

I'm alright. I'm okay. I'm doing good!

I feel good!

See, I'm sad to say this, but I'm an extremist.

I can be sad this minute and luffing away another...
It is just away to let my anger out of my system.
My friends know me well and they usually leave me alone once they know I'm not happy about something.
I normally recover after a deep breath. Hehee...

See, I'm smiling away edi...

ZzzZZzzzzzZZZZZ
Nice!

I wanna party
I wanna party
I wanna party
I wanna party
I wanna party
I wanna wear little black dress
I wanna go party with little black dress
I wanna pair of knee lengh boots to go with my little black dress
I wanna go party with all the above sexy stuff
I wanna narrow nose
I wanna loads of money
I wanna better skin
I wanna lighter dark eye circle
I wanna my own Astro
I wanna my own Olympic size swimmin pool so I dont have to drive to swim
I wanna SONY Digital Camera so I can snap snap snap snap snap
I wanna green eyes...
I wanna longer lashes
I wanna longggg lashes
I wanna really long lashes...

I wanna alot of stuff, but I cannot remember what I wanna now...

I wanna see BB
I wanna eat roti tissue
I wanna watch CSI
I wanna loose weight
I wanna look chio
I wanna brand new job
I wanna feel great
I wanna buy new clothes for interview
I wanna buy new shoe for interview
I wanna get a new hair cut
I wanna get my hair treatment
I wanna start earning money
I wanna go interview
I wanna start working
I wanna start working out
I wanna go swim!!!
I wanna Mc Donals sundae cone, twist, large x 2
I wanna eat french fries
I wanna dance like mad women
I wanna listen to Tipsy
I wanna listen to Satisfaction
I wanna shit down and hang out with friends
I wanna buy alot of new shoe
I wanna buy alot of new clothes!!
I wanna buy new car
I wanna luff till I cannot stand on my feet
I wanna look sexy
I wanna go for LHE facial
I wanna just sit back and get high

But frankly lah... I wish I can watch CSI!!!

Eyes goin to shut forever...
Hell here I come!

Can't be bothered to fuck my future.
Stayin in. Sleep. I'm goin on hibernation.
Damn.

Hey? We did not meet despite the a few "I Miss You" sms-es. Ermm...

Is this the end of everything? I wonder...

All this while, I got struck by the fact that Im precious and vulnerable.
Knowing the fact that Im the biggest looser in the game, I keep it on.

Wonder what Im trying to prove really.
Maybe because I like to be loser?
But why?

I definately deserve someone better...
But who?

Im still wondering...

He treat me good. He did...
I know that... deep inside, I knew he wants the best for me.
Ever single moment, every second of my life.

He tried his best. Wonder when Im goin to be satisfied...
Maybe the only way is to sacrifies one of us.

That got to be me.

Which is the reason why,
Im not satisfied.

At this point of time, I do not know if Im happy that BB coming back tonite. It feels really weird, mixed feeling.

It's fun to have BB around with me again... But then again, I wish he won't be back so that there isn't goin to be so much pain for me anymore.

As I "age", I realise that life is full with options. I'm sad because I choose to be sad. I have problem because I did not solve the problem. Currently, I'm jobless and that's because I did not look for job hard enough. However, I wonder what or where is my blardy driver? I lost the motivation for even drive out to the mall. Not to mention drive all the way to Bukit Jalil Aquatic Center just to swim for an hour or two.

Remember when I was still working, considering the amount of pressure was given by my organisation, I did manage well though it was really hard for me to do it all by myself. It was a one man show job, everything "pau kar liao". Salary did not match up to the amount of work I did. Haha... Come to think about it, when did anyone ever say that "I'm over paid!"

My day to day work wuz hard, felt like I was dump into the ocean and I was expected to live by the end of the day. Frankly, I died.

Remember the amount of responsible I have, the amount of shits I step on to in order to get my work done, how bad things went, when my immediate boss hate my dotted lines boss. I was bad. Im not suppose to listen to anyone of them. Decision made by both of them was affected by emotional distress. It was really unprofessional, really. But we all knows things like this happens everywhere, every organisation not to mentioned MNCs.

A china apek minded operator hold hand in hand with tall bold screaming ang mohs...
The result? Its like mixing a bowl of blardy curry mee, 2 bowl of white wine chicken soup, a glass of bali peng, a few mouthful of o-chien, 6 glasses of champagn, 1 large McD fries, a regular McD's coke and... 2 large cone sundae... voila!! two plastic bag full of disguisting vomit. Eeewww... It taste so bad, I wanna puke when I smell the stupid thing!!!

Oh no... I gotta go watch CSI!!! I'll be back later...

tuesday. March 8, 2005 2.15 pm

Yeah, I know I promised to continue the blog I stopped half way... but seriouslly...
I do not have the mood to do anything.

I cant be bothered. So... What the fark...

Let it be...

Special day for everyone,
Everyone, but just not me.

Together, sealing their love,
For the name of love.

Frozen in time...
Alone, I'm sealing myself,
Away from the exciments...

'Past' Bee is getting married,
BB is meeting that someone...
He've not seen; nearly a month.

A WONDER-ful reunion,
for love...
Nuff said.

We did this together,

We had fun,
We cry together,
We laugh together...

Now, you are going to feel the pain...
With me...

Im not going to let you go just like that...

It's always what you want, its always what you think...
Your fucking assumption is killing me...
As if you have not hurt me enough.

Leaving me,
To be with another...

You now accusing me of doing another...

If this is how you can feel better once you leave,
I can understand why...

Go on accusing me Baby...
Because I had enough.

While smsing with BB...
I heard this song, Everlasting Love, by Jamme Cullum.
It is a romantic jazz.

Do you believe in Everlasting Love?

I don't.

There is Last-ing Love though...
Love will last, one day...

Perhaps today?

NO...

Im calling BB now...
Wanna make sure he is sleeping...
If he is sleeping means he is ok!!!

I'm so worried bout him!

Waitt ah...

Hah! I'm back! Yeay!!! BB's okay!!!
Thank god he is alrite!

But BB is angry at me...
I think he is...

The way he talk to me is very different...
Im sorry to wake you up BB...
I just wanna make sure you are okay...

BB... BB... BB...
Where are you???

I tot you are going to pick me up at 8 something...?
Where have you been...

I miss you edi...
and we are suppose to go buy bus ticket!!!

9.30 p.m. and ticking...

BB's no where in sight.
He must be sleeping...

I did all the ironing, sew all the buttons edi...
His shirt still doesnt look perferct, guess I suck ironing...!

Wonder if I should call him or not...?
I dont think I should... He is tired.
That's why he is still sleeping, because if he isn't tired...
He will normally wake up after sleeping a while...

Poor BB... I shall let him sleep.

Oh no... The phone is ringing...
Maybe BB's calling!

No... It's not BB...
I'll wait for BB to call... later.

He can eat later.
He need to sleep now...

I miss you BB...
See ya later!

Away you go,
My girlfriend's ex class mate is here...

I don't want her to see what we are doing here, you bitch.

Left - Right
Up - Down
East - West
North - South

Love of my live is not here yet.

I might have someone who recognises me here.

Don't come near!
I don't want anyone to know who you are.

Walk away!
They don't need to know you.

Remove your hand!
You are no one to hold my hand.

BB's on the way back home after sending me home! I hope he is home safe soon! :)

Kissie BB.